Fashion has always given potent power to the seductress, rendering men weak and women strong. The seductress is one who creates mystery and elusiveness through the use if symbols and appearances, tricks and of course her appearance.
In every era, there have always been certain women skilled at the game of love, for example, the 1920s New York flapper or the 1950s blonde bombshell. Iconic names such as Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Ava Gardner, Audrey Hepburn, Jean Harlow, and Jane Russell are just a few iconic seductresses of their time. Study them to learn the art. The red lips, the dress, the way they lie on their bed or listen to what someone is saying, the way they laugh or appear interested are all forms of seduction that these goddesses truly mastered.
A seductress in the 18th century, was a woman who was accomplished, well versed in arts and politics as much as the game of love, objects were displayed carefully in her apartment that hinted to these accomplishments. However, it was the boudoir where her seductive nature shone. Here she made sure the conversation was sparkling and her manner alluring, witty and cultured in a space specifically devoted to luxury, feminity and pleasure. Veiling her body in seductive lingerie, a woman would put herself in an interesting bargaining position.
By the late 19th century, a women could be the initiator of seduction, even of a man thought otherwise, by subtly displaying her wares through her appearance in a manner very different from the gentleman in her life. The same seems to apply today where the art of titillation, flirtation and tease are needed in a society where there is an abundance of naked bodies, particularly the female kind. As Jan Birks states, “With so much exposure to sex these days (its everywhere you look) most folk are craving mystique and seduction more than ever”.
Interestingly, a woman’s boudoir/sanctuary is having a comeback as a luxurious haven for all things feminine. A special place to be feminine and girly. We believe we all deserve our own special boudoir!
The clothes of seduction remain the same today as the 18th century boudoir: the lingerie of the belle époque, the bra, stockings, and suspenders of the 1950s all remain the stalwarts of the modern night of passion. The fabrics of seduction have been silks that were sufficiently transparent, lace with devine trimmings in soft pastels, and flimsy materials in delicate, dainty colours. Other items of seduction over the eras have been corsets, pearls, feathers, gloves, furs, robe de chamber (dressing gown), and false eyelashes to create an illusion.
There is fine line between dressing seductively versus looking sexy or tarty. The height of a split on a dress or the length of dress, the amount of bossom to expose are common areas where women go wrong. Finding dressing prompts to will people to take notice of you and that you feel sexy in, regardless of what others think. Remember the art of reveal – you do not need to show it all. Ankles, shoulders, wrists are also seen as female parts of the body that excite. The way you dress may call attention to certain features on your body or certain attributes of your personality, perhaps your flair for style, color, comfort, or fun. You may be subtle with a hint of sexy. You don't have to dress in a way that says, “Take me to bed this instant!” unless, of course, that's what you want.
To get people to notice certain features on your body, you may wear a piece of jewellery or an article of clothing that accentuates that part. You may choose soft fabrics that beg to be touched, or you may dress in a way to tease (a split on a skirt, stockings, a low back dress).
But seduction goes beyond what you wear, it is also about how you behave:
Making eye contact with someone is often the first way you express sexual interest. Letting someone catch you looking at him with interest can be very seductive. Maintaining eye contact is uncomfortable for some people, but it is a skill that can be developed. Calm and clear eye contact can express confidence, interest, and availability.
Paradoxically, shyness too can be seductive. In fact, sometimes coyly looking away is very alluring. It may express that you are extremely attracted and just need some help feeling safe enough to show it. Whether you project confidence or coyness, smiling will help you be more seductive. The classic fluttering of the eye lashes still works!
Usually, flirting involves some type of playful or suggestive conversation. Everybody develops her own style, but in general, flirtatious conversation is light, fun, upbeat, and sexy. With flirtatious talk, you may try to convey how desirable you are in clever ways. Or you may play hard to get. Conversely, you may focus your attention on the person you are flirting with, offering him obvious compliments or flattery. Getting him/her to talk about themselves and holding back on your life story, creates a sense of mystery.
The trick to flirtatious talk is making sure that whomever you are flirting with is on board with you, not getting offended, and has room to respond. If you are the only one flirting, you might be making a fool of yourself or just being a nuisance. Be sensitive to your audience, but by all means, have fun!
Whether you are aware of it or not, your body language could give off signals that you are sexually interested in someone. If you become aware of what kind of body language expresses sexual interest, you can use it to help you flirt and build up the heat within yourself and/or between you and another person. Awareness of your body language can also keep you from sending the wrong message to someone you are not interested in.
You can also use your body language to draw attention to parts of your body that you think are sexy. You can play with your hair, brushing it back with your fingers or tucking it behind your ear. You can cross and uncross your legs slowly, or do things to call attention to your mouth or neck, like bite or lick your lips or rub or touch your neck. You can stretch your arms up in the air and draw attention to your underarms. You can nonchalantly open an article of clothing and expose some bare skin. Whether or not you deliberately use body language to flirt, it can be interesting to try to notice if you also use it unconsciously at times.
These are just some of the ways to become the seducer. Have fun, play a little, and most of all remember at the heart of seduction is illusion and mystery.